By Tanya Marie Dube
There is something I want to share with you.
How many times have you decided that you weren’t good enough or strong enough or intelligent enough to pursue something that you want? How many times have you cloaked what you truly want in something so that it’s kind-of what you want but not really but it sort of feels like something close to what you want? Or how about this: I’ll just do what I’m doing for now and when I make more money, I’ll do something else? When I’m happier, I’ll pivot. When I hit a certain age, then I’ll do this big thing that will change my life forever.
Why do we do this? It’s like banging our heads against the wall and hoping for change. I’ve been sitting with myself for a long time on this subject. You see when I was in foster care, I was deeply connected to Catholicism. I went to a Catholic school and I was baptized and I was the lead soprano in my school and my church. This meant that I was at Saturday night choir and Sunday morning
choir and I was heavily involved emotionally. This was everything to me. It was my foundation. Connecting to God was something that I could rely on, it was my support and it wasn’t going away any time soon.
I had many out-of-body experiences as a child and I would have dreams about things and people that hadn’t happened yet, people I would meet a few days later. I would have dreams that I was other people, going through horrific things and I’m convinced that I was experiencing their experiences. I’ve been clairsentient and clairvoyant my entire life and now I’m starting to hear, I’m becoming clairsentient. But I turned my back on it because it was too weird for the people around me to deal with. Nobody knew what to do with this. They chalked it up to dreams, or nightmares instead of nurturing this gift inside me. When my mother married my stepfather, he had a sister who was Evangelical Christian and that turned what I believed about Catholicism on its head. I started going to a church that was different: they looked different, talked differently, wore different clothes than the Catholic robes I was used to seeing. It made me venture on a quest to learn about all religions. How many were there? Why were there so many? Who was right? What was I supposed to be learning? And then I departed: I didn’t want to believe in something that I couldn’t put my finger on. In university, I took a class on world religions that just rocked my world, and then I started studying Judaism, and then I found out that I have Jewish lineage. I mean the whole thing has been an amazing journey into the history of God from so many different perspectives, and yes I even read the book of the same name (if you like theology, it’s a great read). I have always said that one day I would go back to University and get a theology degree in ancient religions.
Fast forward to 2016 when I left an 18-year marriage, I started on this quest to connect again. I started a podcast for women going through divorce and felt called to have a huge spiritual component, so from that moment forward, half of the people I interviewed for every fun project, video series, show...you name it, had 50% spirituality involved in it. And so I learned, and now I’m getting my masters in metaphysical sciences.
It’s time, people, that I start putting it out there that I’m very spiritual and loving
every second of this connection to myself, my higher self, my spirit guides, and the universe. Let’s bring the woo into our work because the “woo” as we so passively call it, is deep breathing, feeling your body, leaning into your intuition, and not allowing the dictates of this world or the people around us to tell us what we need to be afraid of, what we need to think, who we need to become to be acceptable. It’s about respectively acknowledging that we have an ancestral family that is guiding us and walking with us, and if I can’t get you to lean into that, then just start with stillness, quiet, and breathwork. Acknowledging this part of myself is stepping out of my comfort zone big time, so I had to ask why? If someone felt called to be a doctor, they’re not hiding it. They LOVE being called doctor so and so. It’s time for us to feel who we are as souls on this planet and what we are truly here to do. Enough with the nonsense, the drama, the chaos, not getting what we want for our lives, living in fear. Enough. Say it out loud. Own it.
So it begged the question: why do we do this to ourselves? We want something so badly but we decide that we aren’t good enough to have it. We do that because of the stories that we tell ourselves that keep us stuck. We get stuck because we decide that we’re too embarrassed to reveal this side of us that might make other people uncomfortable. We decide that it’s easier to stay “safe” because then our friends won’t reject us. We are so used to being what other people expect us to be that finding the peace inside us STILL isn’t enough to sit in that space and own our power and just decide that enough is enough and that we are worth it, damn it. We’re worth it. And it’s time that you decide that what you want has got to be greater than the fear of what other people are going to think about you. It just has to be.
What you’re meant to do on this planet has got to outweigh the fear of what it’s going to take to get it. That’s what this article is all about: what it takes to get you from where you are now to where you want to go. How we look at failure and success, fear and rejection, and the obstacles that come our way is in our minds. The only difference between you and another person who has what you want for your life is the story they told themselves about whether or not they could have it and why. I want you to look at failure as a stepping stone to becoming great, so if you fall down 7 times, you get back up 8. I want you to see success as a never-ending journey of love because at the top of one mountain is the bottom of another, and that’s an exciting thing. It means you’re accepting the challenge, you’re the hero in your story and you might be scared at times, but you take the call and you go on adventures. Who wouldn’t want to be you!?!
I want to invite you to remember that fear isn’t real. People are just too consumed with their own lives to worry about what you’re doing and to be perfectly honest if you’re scared it means that you’re relying only on your ability to do something that you don’t know how to do when you should be leaning on spirit and calling in your guides and asking for support. They’re there waiting for you. So lean in.
I want you to say “it’s okay if some people don’t like what I’m doing because there are people out there who need to hear what I have to say.” Find the right people. There’s no one like you, sis. No matter what you want to do with your life, nobody has your imprint that you’ve been leaving on this world: they haven’t walked in your shoes, and they haven’t got your stories or your lessons or your courage. They don’t have what it takes to be you. Read that again: they don’t have what it takes to BE you. So own it. The being depends on the feeling and the feeling depends on the thinking. Breath into that.
You might have been listening to the content I’ve been putting out for years now or maybe you’re finding me for the first time. I grew up in foster care and was always terrified of what other people would think about me. It was pretty clear that when I told someone I was a foster kid, they literally ran away, locked their doors and the adults kept their kids away from me.
Abandonment is something that I was used to by the time I was married. I was so consumed with it, that I picked someone who abandoned me from the word go. And so that leads me back to this thought that I would like you to think about: your reality is created by the thoughts you’re having and the emotional charge behind them.
The way that manifesting works isn’t the words behind what you want or even
the visualizations, necessarily. It’s the emotion you have behind them. The feeling you have when you truly desire what you want and start taking the steps to have it. That’s why we can say over and over again until the cows come home that we want change, but if you are constantly in a state of fear or anxiety or a feeling of lack, you won’t be able to manifest the change that you want to see.
You may want it, but you’re stuck in fear, you’re stuck in terror of the worst-case scenario. When this happens to me, because it happens to us all, I stop myself from going down that rabbit hole and I ask what the worst-case scenario actually is and how bad would it be if it actually happened? What would I then do? It’s never as bad as we think it might be. I am a big believer in proof, so if I think that something is too hard, I find proof that the OPPOSITE is true.
We all have success stories, so don’t be afraid to hold onto yours. If I can remember a feeling of success, pulling something from my past, and I can hold onto it and feel it, if I can do that enough times, then when I’m meditating or praying for specific change, I can bring in that feeling of total support that I have now because I know what it feels like to have been successful at something. You’ll manifest a lot more when you can pull that emotion into what you’re asking the universe for.
We often take for granted what our gifts are, thinking that others have them, too. They don’t. Even if someone can do something similar to what you can do, they are not you. Your personality is not something to take for granted. The way you laugh, tell stories, lean into your femininity, take charge, let loose, your kindness, and the way you inspire and encourage. Nobody can take that away from you.
So remember that: what you think about, you bring about, as an old coach of mine used to say. If you’re scared, you’ll find the proof that you need to be scared. If you’re strong, you’ll stop looking for the fearful things and you’ll start to find proof that you can handle what life throws at you. I choose to live in strength of mind, heart, and soul instead of fear.
I’ve held onto those words dearly for nearly a decade now, even though I had no idea what “what you think about you bring about” meant at the time. I knew they were meant for me and I know that they are meant for you. You are the creator of your reality and when you hear people say that, they mean that you can control your thoughts and your mind and put your focus on something great with
such great intention, that you can literally turn your thoughts into your reality.
Instead of putting your focus on what you don’t have, put your pain aside for a minute and ask where you’re strong and capable and focus on that. So it goes both ways: just like you can create your living nightmare by focusing on it with all of the emotional charge you can muster, so can you create the life of your dreams with the same emotional, electrical charge by slowing down, quieting your environment, and breathe: using your mind to solve the problem and then take the specific action that will open those doors and get you where you need to be. Connect. Breathe. Ask. Receive.
We are all a work in progress, always. We will always be looking for ways to grow and develop and contribute and hold space for our higher selves to show us what we need so that we can have the biggest impact on the world around us and make a difference.
Tanya Marie Dube - Born into the foster care system, living in eight homes by the age of two years old, and homeless on and off for six years from 12-18 years old, Tanya-Marie Dubé is a show host, a motivational speaker, published author and online educator. She uses her extensive experiences in life and business to teach ambitious women and men entrepreneurs to stand in their power and reclaim their lives through radical money mindset shifts and personal development skills that help them overcome the hardships that have held them back all their lives.
Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. To get information about the next free live masterclass and how to work with her, and get free training and coaching in her Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.