Dating: It All Starts At Hello

First Date

How you set up the relationship dynamic is crucial to the success of the dating, courtship and relationship outcomes. The modern woman has been taught that it is ok to make the first move on a man. After all, times have changed right? Wrong!

Times may have changed but the dating, mating and courtship rituals of humans remain as primal as ever because attraction is still a cocktail of instinct, intuition, the biological phenomenon of pheromones, hormonal mixes and childhood scripting. When women take on the masculine role whether its in making the first move or taking the romantic lead in the relationship they often complain about attracting feminine men who they eventually find themselves cherishing, giving and protecting and don’t quite know how they found themselves at the begging end of the relationship if they get to a second date or get a call at all.

Within the relationship, they struggle to get the love and attention they crave and deserve. Competitive energy sets in and breeds resentment as the man they went hunting for fights for his right to be the girl in the relationship. She feels depleted and disappointed because that space is her birthright.  It is only a matter of time before the relationship is a thing of the past and she’s regretting the time lost with Mr. Wrong.

Now, don’t get me wrong, if a woman is comfortable in the masculine role, feels empowered by it and likes to take the romantic lead then she must be satisfied with always playing the role of giver, protector and cherishing of his feelings. In return, she will get a passive, patient and vulnerable man who will be the kind of man that would best suit such a woman.

In Chengi’s World, my coaches and  I meet a lot of women who are smart, successful and attractive who are just tired with the financial and emotional heavy lifting and are ready to be cherished and have a giving man who can protect them. Often this is when they are ready to get married or have children which is natural. If they have already established a relationship with them in the masculine role it can be turned around and sometimes not depending on the damage done by the time she gets to us.

If they are unattached then the challenge is learning how to be feminine even when it’s more comfortable being masculine. This is a truly painful experience but beyond rewarding when they finally start to attract men that want to be their hero for a change.

Mastering femininity for the modern woman is and will be her greatest challenge but her only true challenge if she wants a high-quality masculine man. This takes work and practise. It also takes a lot of deep breaths as she learns to exist in her most natural and powerful state for there is no more a powerful state than that of the feminine woman.

She and only she can evoke the kind of attraction in a man that will make him do anything she wants just to please her. A feminine woman understands that she matters and her desires are legitimate and need attention. She is a master receiver and understands that she is built to take in all the loving goodness of a masculine man who lives to please her. She surrenders nothing but her struggle to be what she was not born to be. She wasn’t born to be a man but a powerful woman who runs her universe.

The discardation of the feminine woman in favour of the power suit, power moves woman was and is the most disempowering thing in the relationship spectrum for a woman. ‘Girl Boss’, ‘Girl Power’, etc is fantastic in the art of making money. I am all about that life but it’s important for a woman that wants to win in love to leave her balls at work. Being able to transition between both energies is essential for a full life.

Let’s talk about igniting deep attraction in a man so that he walks on hot coals to get to you and give you all the time and attention you deserve without feeling like you are paying a premium for it. Igniting enough attraction in a man that you will get that second date and will never be ghosted again or deal with the vanisher that returns because he never left. Chengi’s World’s clients end up with a different kind of problem and that is how to dump the men they do not want. Strange phenomena for ladies who have always played the love chasing role.

Well, the answer is Polarity! It is the key to lasting, fierce attraction. Feminine and masculine energies in a relationship create the best kind of chemistry, synergy and make the best kind of love. They are like two waltzing partners always in sync. 

  You are probably reading this and wondering how you can learn Feminine Mastery, perhaps to save your relationship, turn things around or attract a high-value masculine man into your life for a change. Other than my Feminine Mastery Masterclass that is an hour and a half training on Femininity and all it entails when dealing with the opposite sex, I will conclude this article with two fundamentals.

  1. Feminine energy is an attractive energy. It is magnetic and pulls to it whatever it desires. Practically the feminine woman looks the man of her choice in the eyes and smiles knowing that he will come and once he does she lets him speak FIRST. She holds the veto right.
  2. In a relationship, a feminine woman is vulnerable. She is comfortable communicating her needs, desires and concerns by using creative and emotion-based language. She is comfortable talking about her feelings towards things, places, people and treatment of her.

Do these two things and you will be off to a good start! 

For details on dating and relationship tools visit me here!



Chengi Tobun is the CEO of Chengi's World, Dating and Relationship Expert for women looking for love with high-quality men, International Best Selling Author and International Speaker. Chengi has a strong following on her YouTube Channel 'Chengi's World' where she gives dating and relationship advice to her thousands of subscribers. You can follow her on Instagram @chengisworld and join her Facebook Group “Chengi’s Angels” for Dating and Relationship Clinics. For Dating and Relationship tools, coaching and courses For more information about Chengi visit her here

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