Sisterhood Spotlight: The Power Of Loving Your Authenticity

This month we are featuring 4 incredible women who are part of the Modern Match community. Seeing that International Women's Day is this month we wanted to bring you empowering content from some of the most inspirational and incredible women we know. Grab your coffee, or wine, and let's dive into our interview between Shauna, Founder of Modern Match Lingerie, and the empowering Tiffany Monique.

I am thrilled to be sharing you with our community. From the moment we got acquainted in the online space, I was instantly attracted to your energy, power, and authenticity. You’re always keeping it real and I highly respect that of you! 

Thank you for agreeing to do this interview with us. I am truly honoured to be sharing your wisdom with our community members.

Shauna Allan: Before we dive in, lets allow our readers to learn a little about you. Who are you and where did you come from, Tiffany?

Tiffany Monique: That’s such a loaded question for me. The most accurate synopsis I can give of who I am is -I am love. I am enduring, beautiful, comforting, fierce, and wildly imperfect. I am a great motivator. I am a protector. I am wise and ever-learning. Always changing and evolving. That’s who I am. If we’re talking labels... I’m a mother, author, serial entrepreneur, and CEO. I was born in Manhattan, NY, and raised in Virginia. But, where I came from mentally and emotionally can only be characterized as darkness and uncertainty. Depression. Anxiety. A place that I built to keep people from hurting me that actually kept me from finding out who I really was. You learn who you are as you experience life and my fear of everything kept me from embracing my power and finding my worth.

Shauna Allan: What is something people misunderstand about you? 

Tiffany: I think people misunderstand the complexity of women in general. The most common misconception about me would be that I am just one “thing”. If you look at me without taking the time to observe me you may think that I’m unapproachable, stuck up, mean even. I don’t smile in many photos. I have a natural sensuality in my eyes. I’m very feminine. I indulge in the “extra” pleasures of vanity such as long crystal adorned nails, mink lashes, and hair that passes my bottom. Not to mention my love of a good matte red lipstick and my K cup twins.

From looking at me you may think the way to my heart is telling me how beautiful I am. When really, the only way to my heart is to show me yours. I don’t live in the ego. Those types of “deposits” don’t sustain me. I live in love and gratitude. You have to speak life to me for me to find value in our connection and expect me to give you the same. In that same respect, when people get to know who I am they think I’m above cleavage and curse words. Clearly, I’m not just one “thing”. Most people have the tendency to see either only what they desire and resonate with or only what they fear and reject in themselves. Sometimes, we hide pieces of ourselves because we know this about people. Not me. Not anymore.

Shauna Allan: You're incredible, which is why I was so keen on interviewing you! What are you up to now and what is your vision moving forward? What’s in store for you over the next few years?

Tiffany: Right now, professionally, I’m focusing on my nonprofit organization Women Funding Women. Every win is extremely personal when it comes to that organization and our mission. Being an ambitious woman who has to overcome anxiety and depression to dream, love, and live in a way that isn’t limiting and unhealthy is a conscious daily battle.

I know how important the space you’re operating from is because I’ve personally experienced the highs and lows and I’ve seen the difference emotional, mental, and physical health have on your overall ability to succeed. So I founded one of the only 501(3) Public Charities in America that give women entrepreneurs holistic grants that cover therapy, coaching, licensing, private physical health instruction like yoga and meditation in addition to the traditional professional and educational expenses ambitious women incur. Over the next few years I will be learning and growing as a woman, a brand, and as the CEO of WFW. If I do it right, the women around me will be better for it.

Shauna Allan: So happy for you, and excited to have such a powerhouse woman paving the way for other women to follow suit. If you could be remembered for one thing, what would it be?

Tiffany: When I think of being remembered I think of what type of woman the

world tells my daughter I was when I’m gone. While inspiring, supporting, and empowering women is my life’s purpose, at the end of the day, the woman I am impacts the woman she becomes more than anything. So, I would want the world to tell her that I was the type of woman that you could feel through her pictures. Passionate. Vulnerable. Wise. Powerful. Strong. Imperfect. I want all women, especially the one I raise to know that they have to be everything they are (without watering it down or sweeping parts and pieces under the rug to make people comfortable) in order to change this world. Nothing is more powerful than showing up in the world as who you are. So I would want to be remembered as the woman who made the women around her want to be even more themselves.

Shauna Allan: I totally agree with you! In your opinion, what are the most important personality traits someone would need to be a powerful woman? Is self-love a personality trait? If it’s not, let's make a temporary exception.

Tiffany: The love you have for you touches everything you touch. If the environment inside is dark and unfruitful nothing around you will grow. If it does grow, you won’t know how to or be capable of sustaining it and taking care of it. Your unique power is connected to your most authentic self. Again I say, there’s nothing more powerful than showing up in this world as yourself - in love with you.

We’re not talking about arrogance and ego. We’re talking about the tender, accepting, supportive, forgiving, unconditional love that you give to you that pours onto the things and into the people around you. Power isn’t for the weak. Power attracts people who need what you provide. It attracts people who want what they believe you have. You have to be sure and ready to combat anything that doesn’t represent and resonate with the woman you know you are.

You have to be ready to think as no one else does and believe as no one else will. That’s going to take a kind, patient, and unshakable kind of love that only you can give to you.

Shauna Allan: What is your biggest failure and how has it impacted your life?

Tiffany: That’s tough because I don’t really see things as failures at this point in my life. I see the downs and dark spaces as hard lessons that I needed to learn to become who I am. If I had to think of a time when I was disappointed in myself it would have to be the times when I hid myself behind high walls of people pleasing and anxiety in order to protect the parts of me I was created to share with the world. And to keep people around who weren't supposed to be around in the first place. I had friends I physically felt drained around and I allowed them to be the closest thing to me for years and I couldn’t figure out why I was depressed and anxious. Not taking care of myself and protecting my space was my biggest failure. This is why I will always advocate for women having that kind of love for themselves that they find the strength to release anything that doesn’t align with the love they have for themselves.

Shauna Allan: What is a commonly held belief about powerful women that you passionately disagree with?

Tiffany: I believe that a common misconception about powerful women is that we don’t need anybody. It’s a misconception that we ourselves sometimes entertain. Yes, we’re used to and possibly more comfortable being in control of certain things. That’s more than likely because our personal experiences have taught us that we can’t depend on people to get things done. Contrary to popular belief, I believe one of the most important things in a powerful woman’s life is the people she can trust to have her back. Whether it’s a loyal assistant, a caring and supportive spouse, a fan base, and/or honest friends. We need our people. Power doesn’t make you less human. It doesn’t make you less of a woman or less deserving of comfort, love, and protection.

Shauna Allan: What is something every woman in your industry should stop or start doing? Can you share a story/example around this?

Tiffany: I honestly had to put a bunch of thought into what industry I’m in. I wear several hats professionally. My entrepreneurial portfolio consists of a nonprofit, a hair care line, a media company, and a hibernating event planning company. My overall brand is women empowerment, so I’ll say that women in that space should be sure that their hearts are in it. It’s impossible to genuinely empower women when you don’t really like them or view them as competition. It gets you a ton of likes on social media, but is your mission to pour into the women you attract or are they a transaction? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t monetize your gifts, I’m saying that sharing the gift is the only reason it was given to you. So, just be sure you’re in a space to genuinely and gracefully serve first and then receive.

Shauna Allan: What does the day in the life of Tiffany look like? How do you balance supporting your community, work, self-care, and family?

Tiffany: Any given day consists of a 10 hour work day, mommy-ing, research and studying, marketing, zoom meetings, what seems to be a thousand emails, a therapy session, and some prayer and meditation somewhere in there if it’s a good day. I wish I could say that it’s super organized and chill. Flowing like a well oiled machine. But,  I don’t have too many well oiled machine days, if we’re being honest.

I clearly have more ambitions than I have time. Prioritizing my responsibilities helps me create balance where there is a consistent overflow of things to be done. Being close to and there for my daughter is always the priority. My mental and emotional health is also a top priority because who I believe I am and the love I have for myself impacts everything I touch. Once I’ve done what needs to be done to feel that I’ve satisfied my priorities, I dive into my to-do list and get things done according to deadlines.

Shauna Allan: If you could have lunch with a celebrity, influencer, leader, or athlete, who would it be and what is one question you would ask them and why?

Tiffany: Oprah. Hands down. Oprah is what I consider self-made. She didn’t buy a franchise. She didn’t have a wealthy family. She didn’t “marry money”. She came up on her own and it wasn’t a quick and easy come up. I have so much respect for her as a woman. She’s been through so much and publicly! And she has always maintained her integrity and heart for people. I would ask her if she had to credit all her success to one experience. One moment that changed her mind. One thought that kept her going...what would it be? To be clear, anything Oprah said to me would change my life forever. But, knowing the thing that changed her life forever would be invaluable.

Shauna Allan: What does an empowered woman mean to you?

Tiffany: I personally feel empowered because there are so many intelligent, powerful, successful women around me who see me for exactly who I am and admire me for the space I fill. They mirror my vulnerability and share the impact that me just being true to who I am has on their lives. That’s empowering. Empowered means to be and give of yourself in order to remind those around you that they are capable of the same. It's a necessary cycle of you pouring into me and me pouring into her, so that we can keep our community strong and lifted up.

Tiffany Monique - Tiffany is a mother, CEO, author, and mental health advocate who resides in the state of Virginia. She's the founder, president, and CEO of Women Funding Women. Which is one of the only nonprofits in America to invest in the mental and emotional health of women entrepreneurs by covering the cost of therapy, yoga, and meditation, as well as the educational and business expenses ambitious women face. She is also the Editor-in-chief of Her Hustle Magazine, Owner and Lead Planner of Inspired Affairs Wedding & Event Planning Company, and the Co-Owner of Hair Glory Healthy Hair Fragrances.